What About my Other Kids?

"What about my bio kids?",

"That is too must instability for my kids".

"How do I explain to my bio kids why a foster child can't be with their parents?"

"Will they miss out on certain things?'

These are questions that have been asked to me and things I have said to myself. Should we put the kids through it all?

When Jeff and I were deciding if foster care was something we wanted to do as a family we ultimately had to think about our families core values. We talked about the message we wanted to send to our kids about the world. We discussed what we wanted our kids to care about. We discussed our priorities. We determined our priority is we want our kids to love God. If they love God, they need to love the things God loves. God loves people above everything else. All the people. Not just the people who are doing life right. He loves the hard to love people. The people who have the hard path in life. Foster care is one way to do this. It is one way to bring this ministry into our home and actively show our kids how to love all people.

My kids are exposed to some harder things. Some heavier topics. They have sacrificed some things. When we had our little guy the kids asked a lot of questions about why he was with us, why he couldn't be with his mom and dad. They asked a lot of questions about why he only had video calls and didn't see his mom and dad in person. They questioned why he had to go so far away when we started saying good bye. They didn't understand why he could call us mom and dad for a year and then started calling us Jeff and Justine when he was no longer with us. They were very confused why someone who was four was not acting like a four year old. They endured tantrum after tantrum. They watched someone overcome many fears in a not so quiet and unobtrusive way. Some of their things were broken. They had to share Jeff and I with someone else. There were a lot of questions in 2020 and 2021 (add in the pandemic and it was a lot) There were some really hard topics floating around our house for awhile. They learned about certain topics for the first time; homelessness, addiction, grief, trauma, and all the ways that families are different.

My belief is that this world of foster care will make my kids stronger, more loving, more compassionate and more faithful. Ultimately they will learn to put there full faith in a God who loves them and all people more than anything else. My belief is that God holds them close. Who loves my children more than me and my husband? Only God. Who created my children and gifted them to me? (Psalm 127:3) God. My kids may have to sacrifice some things, they may be exposed to things other children don't experience at their age. They will learn about topics other kids aren't learning about or aren't even seeing firsthand but ultimately they will grow and become better people for it. I pray my children will learn through all this that in hard, painful and confusing things God is working to make those things into good for the people who love him. Romans 8:28.