What Movies are made of and what's left out

I had a moment this week that when it was over, I said to Jeff "that is what movies are made of". I also had many more moments that I thought "this is why they don't make movies about this stuff".

The movie making scene happened this week when our little guy was able to meet his adult half brother for the very first time. Holy Smokes. I'm pretty sure there are no words to accurately describe this moment. I was so worried about how our little guy would handle the situation, I completely forgot there was another person involved in this situation with intense feelings coming our way. Our little guy didn't understand what was going on, so it turns out I didn't need to spend as much energy on worrying about him as I did and should have thought more about the brother. Our little guy introduced himself and ran off to play and left his brother in the dust. The brother stood up and looked at me and was literally speechless. This was when I realized he was being hit hard by emotion and I was instantly feeling pulled between 'do I stay here and talk him through this or do I chase after the little one at the park'. We had a great couple hours. I had a chance to try to get some history on our little guy and they had a chance to interact. I left the visit totally drained and exhausted, I can only imagine how everyone else was feeling. What an honour it was to be a part of that visit. I still can't stop thinking about it and replaying the whole moment in my mind. When I worked at social services I had a similar experience when a little boy on my caseload was being adopted. I was able to be there when he met his new adoptive parents for the first time. I have never forgotten that moment and I suspect I won't forget this one either. They felt the same. A wave of emotion hitting everyone like a ton of bricks and then washing away to leave behind thoughts like 'what's next' and 'whoa, this is a lot to take in'.

I had many more scenes this week that will never make it into a movie. It's pretty obvious to me why they aren't movie worthy. They aren't pretty, they don't make you feel great and they aren't great advertising for foster care. Anyone seen "Instant Family"? I loved it. It did show some hard stuff but was also good for a laugh. This week however, wasn't really like that. We did have some really great moments this week, don't get me wrong. Truly beautiful and truly heartwarming. I wouldn't change this week for a million dollars. Honestly though, this has been the hardest week I think I have ever gone through. I would love to share all the struggles we are going through because I want to take people along on this journey. However, its important I keep our little guys privacy and he can chose someday if he wants to share his story or not. I can share my families story though, which is what I hope to do.

Last night there were some tears from multiple members of my family (me included!) and I was reminded of how incredible my crew is. After having a good cry and making up with the kids, I was hugging Jace good night and he grabbed his blanket and passed it to me. He said 'you can have this tonight'. I cried all over again. I'm so thankful my kids have done so well with all this change. I truly think they have done better than Jeff and I. They have embraced our new family member and are really picking up on things that can help in tough situations.

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Please don't stop praying for us! We need prayers more than anything else. Pray for our transition. I go back to work on Monday which puts our little guy into daycare full time- another huge transition for him. Work is hectic for Jeff and I right now and we are both feeling a bit of dread with work and with all the change in our house.